Forgiveness

Matthew 5:22-25 KJV

But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there remembers that thy brother hath offend you; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Agree with your adversary quickly,

The path to self-forgiveness is a long one; it is even a longer road to forgive the ills that was done to you. Before we can get to that point, there is some personal awareness that must first take place. This awareness is the spirit of Yahweh operating in our consciences. We must come to realize that our actions were:     

 1. Wrong
2. It affected someone negatively
3. We have to seek forgiveness from Yahweh God
4. We have to make restitution and restoration. That is we must have a desire to correct that wrong, if it is possible or apologize for our action and the effects such actions may have caused.

Our first confession must be done to Yahweh God; this should be done in fervent prayer and should entail: 

1. a full confession of the entire violation. 
2. Express to Yahweh a genuine sorrow for what you did.
3. Make a commitment to Yahweh not to violate the victim or anyone else in that manner ever again.
4. Ask Yahweh for forgiveness. Yahweh is the only one who has the power and authority to forgive offenders. Yahweh is the only one from whom forgiveness should be sought.

When we confess our wrongs, we must first make the acknowledgement of the wrong and we express a genuine sorrow for what we have done.

The last part of the process appears to be the most difficult. This is so even though we have the self-realization and had admitted to Yahweh that which we have done wrong; however when it is time to approach our victims we become fearful and apprehensive.

Many are now residing in hell because they were too proud to face and apologized to their victims.

We as children of the promise, have to put our hurt and pride away, go to our victims and admit our wrong without making excuses for:

A. Our actions against them
B. Let them know you are aware that your actions hurt them
C. Let them know you are sorry for what you have done.
D. That you are sorry for the pain your actions may have caused
E. That you commit never to do such to them or anyone else for that fact.

It is selfish to ask the victim to forgive you. Forgiveness is a lengthy process that takes time; but more so, it is for the benefit of the victim. Too often we expect people to complete a process that takes years in an instant because we have made peace with our wrong doing. We then expect the injured party to do the same because we accomplish such; this approach is selfish and insensitive. When we were battling with our guilt, the victim has hurt, guilt and other emotion and traumas to overcome

If at any time you have that overwhelming desire to be forgiven by the Victim (s) it may be you have not yet come to terms with your actions. You may have to go back on your knees to seek the peace only Yahweh and his son Jesus can give.

We must not forget that forgiveness benefits those who have the responsibility to forgive, not necessarily those who were allegedly forgiven. If the victim forgives he benefits in more ways than spiritual, if he does not forgives he suffers physically, emotionally, spiritually etc. and harboring such resentment and hate can impact in other areas of the victim’s live (family live, marriage life, professional life and social live).

It is important that you first deal with the guilt that is associated with your actions before you approach your victim. You must be reassured that Yahweh have already forgiven you and you have already forgave yourself, it is only then, you can move to the next stage of making restitution and restoration for your wrong.

This may be a public admittance that you have wronged the victim (s) a genuine expression of Sorrow for your actions or lack thereof, a commitment not to do such again to the victim or any other, and a willingness to reasonable make it up to them in a manner that will help the victim. Remember I said reasonable.

If you are confident that your motives are right and Yahweh have already forgiven you, then it matters not who holds a grudge.

Some people are of the opinion that there is no real forgiveness, if the relationship was not restored to its original state. The person who was wronged can offer forgiveness but choose not to continue  in or with the relationship of any kind with the offender. I must say here, there is nothing wrong with that. Each person have a responsibility to them-self to provide  for their  personal, mental, physical and other protection and they have a right to determine what course of action is best to employed to maintain such personal safety.